German Goggles

lately

2008-05-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

this is a recent photo someone took of me. oh, well.

yeast infections in the 70's

2008-05-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

The seventies is my favorite decade even though i wasn't even a glimmer in someones eye for it. I guess i should say its my favorite for music and film and fashion. Theres a certain seediness and attitude that i just like about it. The other day i was thinking that in the 70's getting a yeast infection was probably cool to talk about with your boyfriend. i guess in the sixties too. but the seventies seemed to have a lot more polyester and dancing and high waisted things all up in your vag. that sounds like yeast city to me. what made me think of this was about huge hair in the 50's and 60's, where girls took time and stayed in to wash their hair in such. it couldn't be everyday hair. like you couldn't go bang some dude and expect your set to still be in tact you know? this just led me to think as keeping your hair in tact was almost like a weird cock block, and in the 50's you probably didn't live with your boyfriend so he wouldn't have the pleasure of sleeping next to his girlfriend with a yeast infection. none of this is relevent or makes sense. just thoughts.

The Hobester

2008-05-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

I always thought Hobie from baywatch was kind of a douche. I just recently rewatched Baywatch:white thunder at glacier bay ( do your self a favor and try to find it at a yard sale or trash can near you). and i thought maybe Hobie was going through a phase. Who thought that phase could have spread into a adulthood. oopsy daisy.

hear the wolf cry, mother earth dies

2008-05-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

hold on to your dicks everyone. this summer WOLF TRANQUILIZER is back full force.
expect crystals, expect chants, expect the unexpected and expect to get HEALED.

The journey continues

2008-04-29T19:21:00.001-07:00

Well, as you know I've been on vacation and on a journey to find my spirit. So, I hopped on the FONZI and took Pussy Venom with me this time. Its been a bumpy road, but its nothing two knuckle heads couldn't take care of. About half way to no where the FOnz ran out of gas so we hi-jacked a train. here are some pics.
so long for now

vacation

2008-04-20T07:12:00.001-07:00

hey guys! i'm back. AND WHAT A VACATION I HAD! Who ever knew Jamaica Plain could be so cool? This town is a cornacopia of culture. I was lucky enough to get my photo taken in front of this tiger painted by a local artist. If this didn't wet your whistle don't worry theres more to come!
ciao !
or see ya! ( as they say in JP)

dreams

2008-04-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

emily and i both pitched in to get a vanity plate on our new car. i guess things can't be too bad.

The Fugitive

2007-12-17T15:05:00.000-08:00

I've been obsessing over the Fugitive lately which isn't a hard thing to imagine if you've seen this film. The reason why I've been thinking about it alot is because i found out it was nominated and won ACADEMY AWARDS. since i thought this was weird i figured some shitty movies came out in 1993. here were some of them:
The Piano
Short Cuts
Philladelphia
In the line of Fire
and a little movie called Shindlers List.

Tommy Lee Jones won for best supporting actor. he beat not only Aids but the Holocaust. i can only imagine his acceptance speech. it probably went like this: " what?"
the fugitive was probably the biggest fuck you to the oscars that year. maybe thats why i love it so much or maybe because of the suspense and thrill ( so many reasons)
here are some award winning photos from the film

ship wrecked

2007-12-06T19:10:00.001-08:00

in case you were wondering where i was
i am no longer in austin. as you can see in this photo i was ship wrecked and am still trying to figure out where i am. hope i figure it out soon

james arthur obrien

2007-11-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

i was in provincetown this summer and was startled because i realized my friend jamie was on a sign. what startled me even more was that i never knew he was greek.

life cause

2007-11-05T08:07:00.000-08:00

photo by alicia marcaruelle

since the job hunt has been hard i decided to just sell myself. to make more money i came up with a series of women. which one would you like to get to know?

Just A Reminder

2007-10-30T14:28:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to remind all the readers of this blog that I will be away next week doing a transcendental meditation workshop with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.

eggs cost 8000 dollars

2007-10-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

trying to find a job is not as easy as it seems. i've been lookin on the ol' craigslist and since i'm not a man, 30 or latino
i've been having some trouble finding some work. who'd of thought. One casting call asked for a 25 years and up. since i am two years shy of being an antique i've been trying to think of some ways to seem two years older. here are some
1. drive to the audition in a rented car
2. start referring to my boyfiend as fiance ( because we're getting to be that age)
3. if we go out drinking after order something other than a high life
4. comb hair
i think if i do this im in

but if that doesnt work out i could always sell my eggs for 8000 clams. the company was looking for young, healthy, pretty successful women. how fucking successful can you be if youre in that clinic. you, know i love my job of head CEO at warner bros. but i just need to make a little extra . whoops better sell my eggs in this clinic that used to be a nail salon. ahh, success.

so unfortunately since i'm not extremely successful ( yet) i can't even sell my eggs. what am i gonna do....

hail satan

2007-10-14T23:06:00.000-07:00

sometimes its weird talking to people at an art opening. sometimes its weird if a guy tells you he's a satanist and asks if you and your boyfriend are also satanists. sometimes its even weirder when the person isn't 15 but 40.

for laura

2007-10-14T23:01:00.001-07:00

pictures from the road

2007-09-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

when noise gets too loud

2007-09-27T20:44:00.001-07:00

matt and i were in our first art show in town. we were both very excited to show new work and meet new people. the girl running the show was very nice so we had high hopes, until we walked in the door.
we got there ready to mingle when we were greeted by a hyper little kid. i said hi to the boy then tried to say hi to the dad but he was non responsive and just moped away. it was an early halloween show and i'm pretty sure his costume was " regret."
after being moated by that tool box we began to walk around looking at the rest of the show. enter noise dude. noise dude was the epitemy of douche. he strutted in wearing a hospital scrub shirt with the joker all over it and just demanded attention. if his dick vibe wasn't enough he started to demand why no one was listening / looking at his piece. so, like the humble artist he is he turned up his noise and started dancing to his own mess. i got a severe case of the idiot shivers so i had to look away.
then there was witch girl. she was dressed as a witch and was carrying a stick with shit attached to it. she called it her pet. you know when you meet those people that try really hard to be eccentric, but in reality they're really boring and would probably rather be home watching joe vs. the volcano and eating a brownie cake for one... she was that. matt and i tried to shake her hand, but she just stuck out her hand in our face and wiggled her fingers like she just realized they were part of her body. nice.
i could go on about it but it would only be more frustrating. everyone there seemed to be competing over coolness amongst their friends. i mean if they were 17 i would expect it. but apparently they didn't get the memo that when your hitting thirty your cool douche days are over, and wanting to dress like a keith haring painting isn't cool anymore though.
i will say this though, we met one dude who fuckin ruled. he had on a soundgarden shirt and a backward viso ( nothing was ironic). he even brought one of those soft lunch boxes filled with his own beer, but he was stealing the ice ( so he said).
long story short, that guy ruled the show not as much. oh and to top it off someone stole the little l.e.d's out of matt's bike light off my bag. i'm glad we showed work but.............. the experience wasn't how i envisioned it. oh well.

The lion's Den

2007-09-21T17:09:00.000-07:00

I some how forgot to mention this before, but on the way to texas matt and i stopped at a place called the LION'S Den. it was a truck stop / convenience / XXX store. i want you to picture a 7-11, but instead of candy on the walls its dildo's. and just in case you got thirsty one wall was just a fridge with cool refreshments, so no worries.
the thing i liked about this place was many. for starters when one trucker walked in and noticed me he started to act like he didn't know he walked into " that kind of shop" . he had that hey wait a minute,, but i thought this was a ..... kind of look and body language about him. i guess you can call it gentlemanly.
another thing i liked about was the homey feel to it. it had homemade curtains and there was a bed in the middle of it. also it was described as a megaplex and it was about the size of a cvs. i wanted whole sale goods damnit. and they just couldn't deliver.
needless to say this joke wore off quick so we left. we got out to the parking lot where an 18 wheeler screeched in and im almost positive the guy next to us was jerking off. he was concentrating on those floral curtains pretty hard.

beauty shop

2007-09-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

This moring matt and i watched beauty shop ( why?) i really liked it because it was a nice stroll down memory lane for me. I don't know if it was the guy yelling "shout out to africa" or the part when the girls are constantly stereotyping each other but it really hit home and reminded me of my salon days. so i decided to toss in two photos - one from the movie, one from the shop i worked. Notice how its nearly impossible to tell which one is the real "beauty shop"

We made it

2007-09-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

we made it to austin!!! it was quite the journey but we did it.
here are some of my favorite moments:
at some point on the highway (indianna? ) we passed and obese man on a motorcycle with three wheels and a hot rod grill. on the back of this contraption was the script " free spirit." please try to argue this
thanks

we stopped and ate a bob evans which is a favorite amongst america's heartlanders. the food weighed more than me and i had the immense pleasure of getting my priod and having to stuff a roll of paper down my box because i was out of lady supplies. the second trip to the bathroom prompted dirty looks from a neighboring customer. sorry lady, i wasn't about to leave my mark on bob evans if you know what i mean.

next we drove through a million corn and cotton fields. i wanted matt to take my picture running out of a cornfield but he refused saying a farmer might shoot me. he was probably right

we then went throught two storms that resembled the movie twister. it was both cool and scary. i was just waiting for helen hunt to fly through our windshield.

we then made it to austin in the afternoon, and we love it. i also a saw a 20 something year old blind black man ( not funny )walking not with a seeing eye dog but a seeing eye white girl ( funny ) i then realized how much i was going to like it here.
there is also a pizza shop thats symbol is a mushroom wearing a wizard hat flipping a pizza. amazing
we also got a house! its a little edward gorey looking cottage. i cant wait to move in.
well thats it for now. i have some prime photos coming.
be seeing you

roadway inn you say

2007-09-03T06:16:00.001-07:00

tonight matt and i stayed in the roadway inn. it was a cool 39.99 . There was a dead fly on the ground and rust stains throughout the shower. the best part about the shower was that it had not one but two faucet knobs labeled "hot" and you get to play a game in which you decide which is the true hot. its kind of like the game operation except you always lose.

today we're driving across ohio to st. louis. i did a lot of driving yesterday, just ask my tanned arm. we went through some insane tunnels through mountains that made me question my own mortality. we also saw a sign in w.virginia that said "GUMBY"S CIGERETTE AND BEER WORLD" gumby has come along way since i was little.
the drive was really beautiful. around 1130 we stopped at denny's where my mind kept being blown by every customer. my favorite was this chubby little boy in the booth in front of mr petting a barbies hair. i can only guess he was telling her she was perfect.
a lot more has happened and there will be more pictures. but right now i have to get out of the roadway inn so i dont get charged.
oh on a sidenote we just pushed back the curtain in the bathroom to find a pussy scratched into the window.

the kick off

2007-09-02T22:55:00.000-07:00

you're probably wondering where i am. in fact i am wondering the same. as you can see matt and i kicked off our trip with a fresh highway diaper. we then headed to gay city, connecticut ( surprise). there was nothing gay about except for the tree frog i caught. we then headed to nyc and i realized it could suck my dick.

2007-08-31T09:42:00.000-07:00

TUNA NOODLE CASSEROLE

extra wide egg noodles
2 cans Albacore tuna in water, drained
1 can Cream of Celery Soup
1/3 cup mayonnaise
1 cup milk
8 oz. Velveeta cheese
4 oz. jar of chopped pimientos, drained
2 ribs of celery, diced
1 small onion, diced
lemon zest
1/2 cup sliced almonds

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Boil egg noodles according to package directions; drain.

In a pot, stir together all ingredients except for the almonds until well combined and the cheese has melted.

Stir in egg noodles until sauce is evenly distributed. Pour into casserole dish and sprinkle top with sliced almonds.

Bake for 30 to 40 minutes until almonds are golden.

another day, another dog

2007-08-31T09:32:00.001-07:00

i took this photo after the best show of my life ( obvi)